How to Find An Incredible Wife In 71 Easy Steps

How to Find a Husband or Wife

As some of you might know, I got married last Saturday. I can’t really remember most of it, but I can say that it was truly the best day of my life. My wife, Suzanne, is amazing. In fact, she’s so wonderful that I would like to help you find someone just like her in 71 easy steps…

Ladies, feel free to substitute “him” in place of “her.” It’ll work just fine.

  1. Meet her in a church cafe and then forget you met her there until she reminds you of it 2 years later.
  2. Engage her in fruitless chitchat on a weekly basis for about a year.
  3. Intentionally avoid her (on account of the mind-numbing small-talk) as much as possible for that entire year.
  4. Act like a square around her so that you seem like an undatable bore.
  5. Go on group dates with her friends.
  6. Spend more time interested in her than in her friend (whom you brought on the date.)
  7. Go ahead and avoid her for another couple months.
  8. Agree to go on some kind of large group trip; perhaps a road-trip to the beach.
  9. Get her to hop in the car with you and 3 other people for 9 hours.
  10. Make her ride in the middle of your backseat so you can sneak glances at her in the rearview as you drive.
  11. Get over the whole small-talk, chit-chat problem.
  12. Make your first conversation a lot deeper than it has to be.
  13. Tell her how much you love Jesus.
  14. Let her tell you how much she loves Jesus.
  15. Find as many ways as possible to be near her on the trip.
  16. Spend more time together than you probably should.
  17. Ignore just about everyone and everything else on the trip.
  18. Go for a lot of walks on the beach.
  19. Miss the perfect chance to kiss her.
  20. Walk for another 15 minutes.
  21. Take the lousiest chance to kiss her.
  22. Repeat steps 13-18 for the rest of the trip.
  23. Ignore her when she says something about not wanting to jump into a relationship.
  24. Take another 9 hour car ride with her and 3 other people.
  25. Forget how to play it cool and send her a text message the day after you get home.
  26. Set a date for later that week.
  27. Decide you don’t want to wait.
  28. Go see her that night.
  29. And then the next night.
  30. And then the next night.
  31. Then go out to dinner for your first official date.
  32. Freak out about the relationship for a couple of days.
  33. Pray that God would shake you out of your stupidity.
  34. Rejoice when He knocks some sense into you.
  35. Become nearly inseparable.
  36. Fall in love with her.
  37. Spend another 9 hours in the car with her without a single minute of awkward silence.
  38. Meet her parents.
  39. Repeat step 37.
  40. Start talking about marriage a lot sooner than anyone really should.
  41. Without consulting her, adopt a puppy.
  42. Pray for God to give her the grace that she’ll need to get over the puppy thing.
  43. Rejoice in another answered prayer.
  44. Laugh when she falls in love with the puppy.
  45. Cry when the puppy pees on her leg.
  46. Keep talking about what marriage and life will look like.
  47. Tell her you won’t propose until after February.
  48. Figure out what the ring should look like. *IMPORTANT*
  49. Buy her a ring in December.
  50. Write her a letter 1 day later.
  51. Put it in a jewelry box.
  52. Take her to a concert another day later.
  53. Give her the box with the letter on it after the concert.
  54. Surprise the crap out of her when you get down on one knee.
  55. Listen as she doesn’t say, “Yes.”
  56. Jump for joy when she says, “Absolutely!”
  57. Wait for her to read your letter a couple more times.
  58. Stay up till 1 AM calling friends and family.
  59. Plan a wedding in 5 months.
  60. Learn to handle each other’s stress.
  61. Watch as God works to bring all of the pieces together.
  62. Get a bunch of your friends and family together in a cute little church.
  63. Cry a little bit when she walks down the isle.
  64. Make googly eyes at her for 20 minutes while everyone watches.
  65. Share communion with her.
  66. Pray over her.
  67. Steal her line and respond to the vows by saying, “Absolutely!”
  68. Make a covenant before God with her.
  69. Kiss your new wife.
  70. Grab her hand.
  71. Get the heck out of there.

So that’s kind of our story. Two broken sinners with checkered pasts, a Savior who called us to Himself, and a brilliant Father who intricately wove our stories together in the most unlikely ways. Whatever steps you take, trust Him with the outcome as He perfectly works all things together. He never fails.

“You make beautiful things out of the dust…”

Do you have a story like ours? Share it below!

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