How to Find An Incredible Wife In 71 Easy Steps

How to Find a Husband or Wife

As some of you might know, I got married last Saturday. I can’t really remember most of it, but I can say that it was truly the best day of my life. My wife, Suzanne, is amazing. In fact, she’s so wonderful that I would like to help you find someone just like her in 71 easy steps…

Ladies, feel free to substitute “him” in place of “her.” It’ll work just fine.

  1. Meet her in a church cafe and then forget you met her there until she reminds you of it 2 years later.
  2. Engage her in fruitless chitchat on a weekly basis for about a year.
  3. Intentionally avoid her (on account of the mind-numbing small-talk) as much as possible for that entire year.
  4. Act like a square around her so that you seem like an undatable bore.
  5. Go on group dates with her friends.
  6. Spend more time interested in her than in her friend (whom you brought on the date.)
  7. Go ahead and avoid her for another couple months.
  8. Agree to go on some kind of large group trip; perhaps a road-trip to the beach.
  9. Get her to hop in the car with you and 3 other people for 9 hours.
  10. Make her ride in the middle of your backseat so you can sneak glances at her in the rearview as you drive.
  11. Get over the whole small-talk, chit-chat problem.
  12. Make your first conversation a lot deeper than it has to be.
  13. Tell her how much you love Jesus.
  14. Let her tell you how much she loves Jesus.
  15. Find as many ways as possible to be near her on the trip.
  16. Spend more time together than you probably should.
  17. Ignore just about everyone and everything else on the trip.
  18. Go for a lot of walks on the beach.
  19. Miss the perfect chance to kiss her.
  20. Walk for another 15 minutes.
  21. Take the lousiest chance to kiss her.
  22. Repeat steps 13-18 for the rest of the trip.
  23. Ignore her when she says something about not wanting to jump into a relationship.
  24. Take another 9 hour car ride with her and 3 other people.
  25. Forget how to play it cool and send her a text message the day after you get home.
  26. Set a date for later that week.
  27. Decide you don’t want to wait.
  28. Go see her that night.
  29. And then the next night.
  30. And then the next night.
  31. Then go out to dinner for your first official date.
  32. Freak out about the relationship for a couple of days.
  33. Pray that God would shake you out of your stupidity.
  34. Rejoice when He knocks some sense into you.
  35. Become nearly inseparable.
  36. Fall in love with her.
  37. Spend another 9 hours in the car with her without a single minute of awkward silence.
  38. Meet her parents.
  39. Repeat step 37.
  40. Start talking about marriage a lot sooner than anyone really should.
  41. Without consulting her, adopt a puppy.
  42. Pray for God to give her the grace that she’ll need to get over the puppy thing.
  43. Rejoice in another answered prayer.
  44. Laugh when she falls in love with the puppy.
  45. Cry when the puppy pees on her leg.
  46. Keep talking about what marriage and life will look like.
  47. Tell her you won’t propose until after February.
  48. Figure out what the ring should look like. *IMPORTANT*
  49. Buy her a ring in December.
  50. Write her a letter 1 day later.
  51. Put it in a jewelry box.
  52. Take her to a concert another day later.
  53. Give her the box with the letter on it after the concert.
  54. Surprise the crap out of her when you get down on one knee.
  55. Listen as she doesn’t say, “Yes.”
  56. Jump for joy when she says, “Absolutely!”
  57. Wait for her to read your letter a couple more times.
  58. Stay up till 1 AM calling friends and family.
  59. Plan a wedding in 5 months.
  60. Learn to handle each other’s stress.
  61. Watch as God works to bring all of the pieces together.
  62. Get a bunch of your friends and family together in a cute little church.
  63. Cry a little bit when she walks down the isle.
  64. Make googly eyes at her for 20 minutes while everyone watches.
  65. Share communion with her.
  66. Pray over her.
  67. Steal her line and respond to the vows by saying, “Absolutely!”
  68. Make a covenant before God with her.
  69. Kiss your new wife.
  70. Grab her hand.
  71. Get the heck out of there.

So that’s kind of our story. Two broken sinners with checkered pasts, a Savior who called us to Himself, and a brilliant Father who intricately wove our stories together in the most unlikely ways. Whatever steps you take, trust Him with the outcome as He perfectly works all things together. He never fails.

“You make beautiful things out of the dust…”

Do you have a story like ours? Share it below!

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17 Responses to How to Find An Incredible Wife In 71 Easy Steps

  1. June 15, 2012 at 2:26 pm #

    Kenny. I think I’ll give this to Anthony!! Lol yet so true everything you said! 🙂

  2. Jamie Willow June 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    very sweet.  I actually felt like I was reading my brother and his wife’s story…so similar. Good for you guys!


  3. TCAvey June 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

    Very sweet, thank you for sharing.
    God really does make everything glorious! 

  4. Kate O'Neill, [meta]marketer June 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm #

    Beautiful and rings very true. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  5. Jeff Goins June 15, 2012 at 3:53 pm #

    this was awesome. 🙂

  6. Steve Jolly June 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm #

    Great Story Kenny!  The 71 steps had me laughing before I read the article!

  7. Leah Glover June 15, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

    This was beautiful!  I am SO thankful that Suzanne and you let me be a part of your journey, your wedding, and your marriage.  I will continue to pray for your marriage and your ministry together 🙂

  8. Joe Lalonde June 15, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

    Great story Kenny. Made me laugh and remember my story.

    1. Invite friend to go to concert
    2. Make sure friend likes you and brings a buffer
    3. Fall for buffer
    4. Show up unexpectedly until she caves
    5. Ask her if she thinks we’ll get married
    6. When she says yes, give her a set of dates

  9. Brandon Cordoba June 15, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

    Cool story Kenny thanks for sharing.

    Beautiful things out of the dust:

  10. Michmoore June 15, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

    So great, Kenny and congrats on your marriage!!

  11. Brian Asher June 15, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

    ha, great post…big time congrats!

  12. Amy L. Sullivan June 18, 2012 at 10:21 am #

    How funny! What a great way to tell your story. Ours starts like this:
    1. Ask her is she wants to go for  ice cream.2. On the way, stop at a flooded out park in which you used to play little league.3. Walk around the massive amount of water and dead fish.4. Take a short cut through a cemetary.5. Have a racoon dart in from of you.6. Throw your date in front of you for protection.True story. Whatever prompted me to say yes to a second date is a mystery.

  13. Stephen Melancon June 21, 2012 at 2:14 am #

    So where were you 18 years ago…. After thinking back on finding my wife and all the steps I took, I’m thinking you are some kind of efficiency genius to be so successful in only “71 Easy Steps”!

    Great post! I really enjoyed it. : ) 

    Congratulations! I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world.

  14. Lauren Michelle June 21, 2012 at 2:24 am #

    That was so cute. And funny. 🙂

  15. Donald McAllister June 21, 2012 at 9:45 am #

    So good! Congrats!

  16. Eszter Maros June 21, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    Congratulations! Reading through the 71 easy steps made me laugh and cry, because I can see how God works supernaturally – still in a very natural way! Thanks for sharing!

  17. David Helms August 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm #

    I got to know my future wife on a group trip to the beach…where my friends were trying to set me up with someone else…whomp whomp.

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